Financial Fitness for Teens

The following excerpt was taken from the book, Financial Fitness for Teens, from the Life Essentials Series. Foreward below written by Chris Brady

It’s funny when I think about how many times during my school years I had the thought, “When am I ever going to use this?” Usually this was in response to an obscure math problem or complicated chemical equation that some teacher was intent on teaching me to balance. Indeed, by the end of my college years, I could work mathematical equations with virtuoso skill. Given a few minutes, I could reduce any equation down to the much sought after “zero equals zero.” I remember manipulations of matrices, methods of integrations, and even friction cones as applied to robotic end effectors. And in my case, with the unpredictable path my life took from engineering to entrepreneurship and writing, I was correct in my suspicion that much of what I had been taught would go unused.

Don’t get me wrong. I do not regret my formal education, and I’ve even made peace with the fact that I spent so many hours of my youth in the bowels of mathematical dungeons. I am not upset by all the learning I did that didn’t end up being applicable in my life because, let’s face it, there is no way to know exactly what will be useful later and what will not. And it was nobody’s choice but my own to leave engineering for my true life’s calling of being a business owner. But what I do wonder about, quite frankly, is all the stuff I wasn’t taught along the way. At the top of that list is the topic of personal finance.

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Why is it that we are taught the three Rs, “Reading, Riting, and Rithmetic,” but nothing about money? Why must we dissect a frog but never learn to balance a checkbook? And why are some of us even taught macroeconomics but never microeconomics, as in, our own economics?

The results of this oversight in education are predictable. The financial statistics for people in their twenties are dismal. Students graduate from high school and college, often laden with heavy student loan debt, and immediately get credit cards and car payments and frequently soon after, a mortgage. Just like that, they are buried under consumer debt. Unfortunately, this sets a pattern for life that is hard to break. And the load is difficult to bear. Interest on that debt compounds, and other forces like inflation work against them too. Add to this an overall ignorance about investing, and now our young people are not only having a hard time making ends meet, but what little is saved and stored someplace is done incorrectly. It all adds up to a life spent chasing after money to barely get by, when it didn’t really have to be that way at all. What so many young people are missing as they start out in life is a foundation of financial wisdom.

Understanding money doesn’t have to be hard. It isn’t some great mystery, and it’s certainly not boring. And for sure, nobody who ever learns the basics of good money management will ever have to ask themselves, “When will I ever use this?” Because the answer is obvious: Money is a topic, like it or not, that will be relevant in your life nearly every single day you are alive! It’s best to understand it well and early. And that’s the purpose of the book, Financial Fitness for Teens. Read on eagerly, and learn this stuff well. I promise you’ll be glad you did!

To purchase the Financial Fitness for Teens book, click here.

To purchase the Financial Fitness for Teens Audiobook, click here.

(Posted by Kristen Seidl, on behalf of Chris Brady)

How Small Acts of Courage Can Change the World

The following excerpt was taken from the book, Wavemakers: How Small Acts of Courage Can Change the World, from the Life Essentials Series. [Foreward below written by Chris Brady.]

The crowd was larger than usual for such an event, and it soon became evident that the venue would be packed. The amount of people who had turned out that day was indeed noteworthy, but even more so was the makeup of that crowd. For in those balcony seats sat a virtual “Who’s Who” of London high society. There were noblemen and ladies, Members of Parliament, other elected officials, and ambassadors. There were dignitaries and policy makers. And there were even a few, precious few, friends of the man who was standing alone at the metal gate in the center of the room.

The assembly was being held in Whitehall Palace in an octagonal room nicknamed the “Cockpit.” The attraction was the interrogation of a colonial representative who had shared with the public a private letter from a colonial Governor. This had caught everyone by surprise: the colonists because it confirmed for them the second-class treatment they felt they were receiving from the Crown; the members of the British government because it confirmed their suspicions that this particular representative was aligned with the rebels; the representative himself because this incident, for the first time, shed light on the true depth of the brewing conflict between crown and colony. In fact, for this particular colonial representative, it would be a wake up call that would rouse him from his slumber and forge a fire of determination that wouldn’t burn out until complete independence had been established.

The year was 1774, and on that late January day, Benjamin Franklin would be confronted with a truth he had somehow been slow to realize: that the colonies should never be reconciled to their subservient role under the British government. Up to that day, he had held to the notion that the rift could be repaired and that the colonies were better off remaining British subjects.

At first, the meeting was a minor irritant to Franklin. He had done nothing morally or legally wrong, and at most, he could be accused of behaving contrary to aristocratic etiquette. But as the vicious Solicitor General Alexander Wedderburn, known far and wide for his vitriol, took his usual rancor to new heights, Franklin grew angrier and angrier. It is said that by the end of the extended diatribe, in which Franklin was accused of all manner of treachery and treason, Franklin’s hands gripped the metal railing on the “bar” so firmly that it appeared he could rip it from the floor. Throughout, however, his countenance was stoic as a Greek statue. Finding himself in a situation utterly ridiculous, by sheer force of will, he remained silent.

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Soon thereafter, Franklin sailed back to North America from England, never to return. What had become a happy home for him, replete with fame and notoriety, friendships with the highest scientific minds of the time, membership in the distinguished Royal Society of the Arts, and stimulation for his abundantly curious mind, had now become enemy territory. He would thereafter throw himself enthusiastically into the cause of freedom for the colonies, accepting the role of Ambassador to France, where he would masterfully secure the money, guns, ships, and support of King Louis XVI that would all prove so crucial in the winning of the War of Independence.

The disturbance that began in the “Cockpit” had grown into a mighty wave that ultimately swamped an empire. And while one man didn’t do it all alone, it couldn’t have happened without what that one man alone did.

This type of occurrence, in which a single event triggers massive passion within the breast of an individual that results in a title wave of change is so enthralling, so thrilling, as to keep us talking about it hundreds of years later. In a world where most people seem intent on not “rocking the boat,” it is infinitely interesting (and instructive) when someone not only rocks the boat but intentionally makes waves. We watch those waves crash up onto the rocky shores of the status quo and wash it out to sea, leaving a world behind in the wash that is forever transformed.

What’s more, these are not rare events. Look through the pages of history, and there, everywhere, are people who have, in large ways and small, been inspired to stir up waves of change. Look around you in our modern world, and again there, everywhere, are more examples.

We call them “Wavemakers.” They are that particular slice of humanity that cannot stand to leave things the way they found them. They seem to understand that to make a difference, they have to be different. And importantly, they realize that the opinions of those who do not care to make a difference don’t matter to them. Whereas most people seem to go through life merely trying to survive, seeking short-term gratifications and a sample of life’s pleasures, there are a select few who are utterly discontent with the status quo. These extraordinary few can’t take things as they find them and can’t leave things alone. They are driven by a desire to remake the world into something more in line with their own unique vision of how it should be. And in so doing, they create waves of change that roll through the pages of time.

These “Wavemakers” come from all walks of life, persuasions, and political affiliations. But they have one thing in common: a life dedicated to making waves. Some call them heroes; some villains. But no one can ignore them. And since they cannot be ignored, they may as well be studied. Through such study, we will not only be mightily entertained but hugely instructed. And perhaps, just maybe, we will be inspired to make waves of our own!

Chris Brady
New York Times Bestselling Author
Cofounder, CEO, and Creative Director of Life

[To purchase the book, Wavemakers, click HERE. Posted by Kristen Seidl, on behalf of Chris Brady]

Enjoy the Journey

The following excerpt was written by Chris Brady in the book, The Serious Power of Fun, from the Life Essentials Series. 

When it comes to equipping oneself for leadership and success, many words come to mind: vision, goals, execution, teamwork, metrics, mentors, knowledge, perseverance,  and others. However, one particular word that is critical not only to success but to the very enjoyment of it is often overlooked and usually downright ignored. That word is fun.

The concept of fun doesn’t get much focus. If anything, it is seen as a mere by-product of success, or perhaps one of the facets of success that makes all the hard work of earning it worthwhile. But fun is much more than the result of success; it is actually one of its most effective enablers.

Ultimately, nobody succeeds alone. Success is always with, through, and for other people. And people, though each individually unique, are alike in a lot of important ways. One of the most common threads running through the human experience is the desire to enjoy the journey. Strangely, however, although this desire is universal, the fulfillment of it is alarmingly rare. Although everyone enjoys a good laugh, laughter is seldom heard. Although everyone enjoys the bonding of good times shared, good times are scarcer than we’d like. And although everyone aches for joy, joy is largely missing. Therein lies the opportunity to utilize fun to great ends.

Leaders face all sorts of opposition on their quest for success and significance. Among these is the difficulty of enlisting other people to the cause, especially for the long haul. Financial incentives often fail to motivate, recognition is fleeting, and a sense of accomplishment can be only too distant over the extended course of a project. But the leader that can manage to make it fun along the way stands to accomplish more than he or she could with all the other motivators combined.

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Think of the times when you’ve really felt rewarded in your work. If you examine the elements of why those moments were so fulfilling, you’ll likely notice that there was a challenge, the work was interesting, and you made reasonable progress. But usually you’ll find that there was an element of fun involved, too. There was laughter, camaraderie with coworkers, and an empowering sense of achievement. These conditions almost never exist in an environment of drudgery. Usually, all these elements of meaningful contribution are wrapped in an aura of fun. They were fun because they were fun, and the fact that they were fun made them fun!

What?

Fun is a circular concept! When we are engaged in meaningful activity, we discover that our work can become the most fun fun there is! (That is not a typo. I really meant to say the word fun twice!) But we also learn that work can be more meaningful if we strive to intentionally make it fun. In fact, some of the best leaders and highest achievers have discovered this serious power of fun: namely, that fun can make anything more rewarding, more motivating, and more achievable. Fun becomes one of the motivators as well as one of the rewards. Very few success factors work on both sides of the equation in just this way.

Fun, though obvious as an idea, is way more important than you may have ever realized. It is a specific implement in the toolbox of a high achiever, wielded to make things both better along the way and more worth it at the end.

(Posted by Kristen Seidl, on behalf of Chris Brady)

Mindset Memos: Learning to Think Like a Leader

The following excerpt was taken from the book, Mindset Memos, by the Life Essentials Series. Forward below written by Chris Brady

I’ve studied leaders for decades, and when considering their track records and actions, I’m always left pondering one particular question: “How did they know to do what they did?” It’s one thing to read about the history of a country, company, or project and be told the facts about what happened. It’s another to understand the why behind the what.

This was driven home to me while researching the development of the Kindle e-reader at Amazon. As you will discover, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos was adamant that his vision of the future e-reader be carried out in a certain way. Particularly, he wanted seamless wireless connectivity to the internet at all times so that customers could buy a book directly from the device anytime, anywhere, without any hassle. There would be no rate plans, no ongoing subscriptions, and no download charges. This was all to avoid the need to hook the device up to a computer in order to purchase an e-book. Bezos’ concept was that he should be able to hustle through an airport, remember that he had forgotten a book, and in seconds download one onto the reader without any technical knowledge or complication. It should be so easy a neophyte could do it with ease.

While this sounds logical, it was not easy to implement. For one thing, deals would have to be negotiated and struck between Amazon and wireless carriers all over the world. The costs could be astronomical. Further, no one had ever done anything like this before, and there could be no certainty it would work. Nearly everyone involved with Bezos on the project was opposed to this particular aspect of the reader, and many thought the risks far outweighed any of the potential gains in usability. But Bezos would not be moved and was insistent.

As I learned of Bezos’ obstinacy in the face of opposition from his peers and subordinates, I was struck with my usual question: just how did he know this would be so important? Why did he insist on it even in the face of resistance from just about everyone on his team? Because in the end, of course, this one particular aspect of the Kindle design was the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back and brought the formerly resistant book publishers on board. Once Amazon representatives demonstrated to the publishers the easy connectivity that fostered spontaneous book buying, they were finally sold. It was the turning point in the whole, complicated, coordinated development project.

Had Bezos known this would turn out to be so important? After all, several years later the WhisperNet feature was quietly dropped from the Kindle with hardly a, well, whisper. But at the time it proved crucial to the Kindle’s success. We are left to conclude nothing other than the fact that Bezos could not have known specifically how important this feature would turn out to be, but conceptually he was convinced it was the right thing to do. And that is the key.

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Great leaders never know for sure. They, after all, are leading people into waters in which they’ve never sailed themselves. That’s the very picture of leadership. Many times the leader must lead others into places he himself has never been. At such times conviction is paramount. Being right is not nearly as important as being sure.

I could give several additional examples, as again and again I find this same dynamic when studying successful leaders. But this one is sufficient, because it so aptly demonstrates the concept. And here is my point: leaders don’t know precisely what the future will bring, but they have a mindset that if they are not right about something, they will simply shift and end up making things right anyway. The goal is set, the vision is cast, and the leader is entirely committed to making it come true. Convictions come in strong, and they can sometimes be right, but they are also sometimes wrong. Ultimately, this doesn’t even matter, because the greatest leaders have a mindset that regardless of the obstacle, they will get to their envisioned destination. The way is not as important as the reason for the journey in the first place. The path can change, but the vision remains.

It’s a mindset. It’s a passionate adherence to an inner compass. It’s the response to a burning desire. And with the Kindle project, Bezos had it in spades. He would not be deterred. He knew intuitively what would be required to bring his vision to reality, and he would not be denied by the logic of those who would play it safe. If an obstacle were to pop up along the way (as they did in droves), he and his team could just pivot as necessary. But they kept their eye on the prize until it was realized.

That’s the essence of the mindset of leadership. It can be expressed most clearly in the stories of what leaders do, which provide insight into why they did what they did.

The Mindset Memos book features several stories that are compelling for the leadership traits they display. The leaders are very diverse, ranging from business figures to artists and athletes, but the leadership lessons are a consistent thread running throughout. Read each carefully, and consider how the lessons involved apply to your own quest in life. Don’t simply look at the what; seek to understand the deeper why. And there, in the reasons springing from the mindset of these great leaders, it is my hope you will find the conviction to pursue your own why.

Want to read more? Purchase Mindset Memos: Bite-Sized Biographies for Learning to Think Like a Leader HERE.

(Posted by Kristen Seidl, on behalf of Chris Brady.)

An Introduction to Financial Fitness

The following excerpt was taken from the book, Financial Fitness, by Chris Brady and Orrin Woodward.

Think back to your earliest memories about money. When did you first realize that money had the power to purchase things you wanted? When did you first wish you had enough money for something? When was the first time you were told you couldn’t have something because you couldn’t afford it? When was the first time you remember holding a lot of money in your hand and feeling really happy about it?

Now ask yourself another question: When you think back on your earliest memories about money, do the memories make you feel mostly positive or negative? For many people, early memories about money are often associated with a sense of lacking, of not having enough for something they wanted. Sadly, this feeling of lack, which we call “the money thing,” is too often the way many people still feel today.

This feeling comes with the realization that you can’t afford something you really desire, or that you don’t have the resources to do something you really want to do, or even that you aren’t able to help someone you care about simply because you lack the necessary money. Most importantly, “the money thing” sometimes keeps people from fully achieving their potential and living their deepest purposes in life.

Of course, there are a number of things that are more important than money, but “the money thing” is a limiting factor for far too many people. Both Orrin and I experienced this challenge during our youth, and as adults, we set out to discover how to overcome it.

As far back as I can remember, I wanted to succeed financially. I guess I learned early that money was a necessary tool, and if lacking, was instead a major inhibitor. I wouldn’t say I ever went as far as greedy materialism; rather, I was focused more on “making it” and eliminating “the money thing.” It seemed as if money was a roadblock in many people’s lives, obstructing their paths and telling them they could proceed no further.

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“We can’t afford it” was a phrase I grew up hearing a lot, both at home and from many people in my community. It seemed to be the major limit for most people.

But as a young person, I wondered, “Why can’t I grow up and make a bunch of money? Why can’t I find a way to kill the money limiter once and for all and be free to live my life the way I desire, rather than being hindered by a lack of money at every turn?”

So, of course, I began chasing financial success through the fantasy of becoming a  professional motocross racer. It was only a teenage fantasy and quickly dissipated in the face of several facts—the first being that I wasn’t good enough! So I shifted gears, so to speak, and embraced the “go to school, get good grades, get a good job, and work your way up the corporate ladder” philosophy of success. This produced some results and a decent income, but it was also like wearing someone else’s shoes—fine for someone else but not fitting for me. I was working as an engineer at General Motors at the time, but something just didn’t feel quite right.

A crossroads in my life came one day when I found myself on a Caribbean beach asking some very important questions: “Is this it? Is this all there is? Is this the life I want? Should I settle for good, or should I risk it all and go after my dreams?”

This experience helped me step off the “normal” path of a good job and a life in the suburbs to truly living my dreams. But the path wasn’t easy. After I became an entrepreneur and went through many starts and stops, I finally found my way to the types of income I had always desired. This, however, was not enough. Making money was only the “offense” of personal finances. I still had many lessons to learn about the “defensive” side of finances and the preservation and proper stewardship of wealth.

It was through careless handling, hopeful and naïve investing, and many hard knocks, losses, bad decisions, unscrupulous investment partners, reckless real estate transactions, and other failures that I learned the lessons that finally stabilized my financial condition and fixed me upon a definite opinion about how to build wealth and manage one’s finances.

Worst of all, I had all along thought I was being wise with my money, trying to do with it what “everyone” had always recommended. I didn’t waste it on the proverbial “wine, women, and song” (I am happily married, hardly ever drink, and certainly can’t sing!), but instead attempted to invest my money and grow it responsibly. Only then did I find out how much I still had to learn.

It turns out that nearly “everyone” is wrong when it comes to personal finances, and from that consideration grew the very concept of the book, Financial Fitness.

Between the two of us over the years, we have worked with hundreds and then thousands of people struggling to improve their finances, and we have seen time and again that a few simple changes make all the difference. In fact, it is amazing how little is really needed to turn things around and get on the path to financial fitness and prosperity.

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In truth, the principles of financial fitness are not complex or difficult. Unfortunately, far too few learn these simple, basic principles that can fix their finances. Most people seem predisposed to stay in a rut unless something significant urges real change. If you live in a forest your whole life, you’ll most likely think the world is made up of trees, just like a fish will probably think the whole world is water. This reminds us of Plato’s story about the prisoners locked up in a cave who just assume the whole world is a cave.

The same is true of understanding money. If your parents struggled with money and didn’t know or apply the principles of financial fitness covered in this book, you most likely struggle as well. Some people learn the principles of money success by trial and error like we did, and some learn from mentors. But unless a person learns these principles and applies them in everyday life, he or she will continue to struggle financially.

Our schools seldom teach these principles, and it is difficult to find them all in the various books on the topic. Though there are a lot of writings on personal finance, including many that teach some of these principles of financial fitness, it is difficult for readers to plow through dozens of books just to find a principle here and another there.

The principles of financial success are relatively few and simple, but we haven’t been able to find them effectively and thoroughly taught in one place in a way that truly helps people get their financial house in order. In fact, nearly all books now available on the topic fall into one of three categories:

  1. Books on financial “offense” that explain how to make money, like the works of Robert Kiyosaki and David Bach and the many books on investing, entrepreneurship, and real estate
  2. Books on financial “defense” that explain how to save, budget, and get out of debt, like the writings of Dave Ramsey, Suze Orman, and dozens of others on overcoming debt
  3. Books on the “playing field,” or the “rules and philosophy,” of finance that explain how money works and how to understand economics, like titles by Ludwig von Mises, Peter Schiff, and Murray Rothbard

But there is a great need for a single book that adequately teaches all three of these viewpoints and the skills of each because readers who get too caught up in offense will make drastic mistakes on the defensive side of things, while others who emphasize defense will limit their potential by not taking important offensive actions to increase their prosperity.

Those who focus mostly on the playing field, or the rules and philosophy approach, will have a good understanding of tax policy, the gold standard, or the benefits of a 401(k) but little real control over their financial goals.

We need to learn financial offense and defense, which can be summarized as “earning like a millionaire and living like the middle class.” Too many people do the opposite and earn like the middle class but use debt to spend like they have a lot more than they do. The financially fit, in contrast, spend a lot less than they make. Sadly, few people in modern society consistently apply the principles of financial success.

On a personal note, we feel so blessed that since those experiences on the Caribbean beach and listening to an audio tape while driving to a class, we’ve been able to learn the principles of financial fitness. Herein are the results of twenty years of wins and losses, gains and failures. Herein lies not advice, as we do not deign to advise anyone, everyone’s situation being different. We have learned that the principles of financial fitness work, and those who apply them will get financially fit.

Want to learn more? Begin your Financial Fitness journey today.

Posted by Kristen Seidl, on behalf of Chris Brady.

Power of Life in Words

The following excerpt was taken from EDGE, co-authored by Chris Brady and Orrin Woodward

In 1887, when future president Warren G. Harding was just twenty-one years old, he worked as an editor for a local Marion, Ohio, newspaper called the Star. One night, he attended a town hall meeting to hear from a local Ohio poet named Will Carleton. The poet recited his narrative poem “The First Settler” about a farmer who harshly criticized his wife for letting their cattle stray—so harshly, in fact, that the wife had gone out into the night to bring the cattle back. After finally rounding up the stray cattle, she returned exhausted and sank onto the cabin floor, where the farmer later found her dead. The farmer had rhymed his remorseful ballad:

Boys flying kites haul in their white-winged birds;
You can’t do that way when you’re flying words.
“Careful with fire” is good advice, we know:
“Careful with words” is ten times doubly so.
Thoughts unexpressed may sometimes fall back dead:
But God himself can’t kill them when they’re said.

This poem affected the young editor deeply. He memorized it and quoted the lines back to people for the rest of his life. In effect, this poem became his life’s philosophy as he spoke all the good he could of others and rarely any bad. The application of this principle ensured he made few enemies in his later political career because he kept back unspoken words of wrath and anger, unlike his political peers.

As leaders reflect on their lives, many will discover that their biggest mistakes were not necessarily the actions taken as much as the words spoken while taking the right actions. In other words, a leader can make the right decision but still execute it wrongly through the poor use of words. Everybody is guilty of this to some degree, but imagine if by applying the biblical principle of “a soft answer turns away wrath,” the harsh words a person thinks were killed before they flew out of his mouth. What if angry words, spoken or written, were replaced with loving and encouraging words? Rather than breaking friendships, this simple principle would strengthen them, increasing joy and bringing peace where enmity existed. This should be the goal with every word a person speaks. Accordingly, before speaking, ask yourself a simple question: “Is it worth it?” Are the words about to be spoken worth being spoken, or do they have the potential to destroy a valued relationship? If it isn’t worth it, then tread carefully with your choice of words.

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If Warren G. Harding, admittedly average in so many leadership areas, developed into one of the best politicians of his time through the thoughtful application of his choice of words, what can others do through application of the same? Even though Harding knew he lacked many of the leadership qualities people look for in a president, his amazing ability to maintain cordiality in the “thunder and lightning” political environment moved him to the top. Harding’s superior ability to get along with others overcame his other defects and moved him to the top of his field, thus validating Dale Carnegie’s principle that success in most fields is based upon people skills. Biographer Francis Russell elaborates:

In spite of the legend, Harding was neither a fool nor a tool, but an astute and able Ohio politician (not the highest breed of that animal) who knew how to get what he wanted—a place in the state senate, the United States Senate, the White House—while, all the time disclaiming that he wanted any such thing…In essence, he was nominated for the presidency because he had done the necessary political spadework in the grass roots and because, in one politician’s words, he was “everybody’s second choice.”

The reason he was everyone’s second choice is because he had mastered the principles of people, including the one learned as a twenty-one-year-old editor on eliminating harsh words against others.

Remember, friends can come and go in life, but enemies seem to accumulate. If possible, do not create needless enemies through the careless choice of words. Either choose better words or, if possible, don’t say anything at all. As Abraham Lincoln once humorously said, “Better to keep my mouth shut and thought to be a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” Moreover, life is too short for grudges or conflict, especially when there is so much to do and so much more that can be done by uniting in a worthy cause. Nonetheless, if a person has made mistakes, he can still begin anew today. Mastery of one principle catapulted Harding to the presidency. Few realize the power of this one idea applied to their lives to radically change outcomes. When a potential leader replaces words of discouragement, fear, and hate with words of encouragement, hope, and love, his or her life will be changed forever.

Posted by Kristen Seidl, on behalf of Chris Brady.

Don’t Live with Regrets

The following excerpt was taking from Chris Brady‘s book, PAiLS

“If only I had bought that lakefront property way back when!” “If only I had asked her to marry me before it was too late.” “If only I’d tried harder in school.” “If only I’d been a little more serious when I was younger.” Regrets and “woulda, coulda, shouldas” are part of life for all of us. We have all blown opportunities, missed chances, and somehow squandered important moments. The goal, of course, is to keep these to a minimum while finding a way not to lament overmuch the chances that have gone by. After all, it does no good to keep digging up the past and what we should have done. We can learn from our missteps but should never grow demoralized by them.

Bronnie Ware, a woman who worked for years with the dying, wrote an article sharing “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying”:

  1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
  3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  5. I wish I had let myself be happier.

There are many such studies. What is striking is how similar the results all seem to be. It appears that when it comes to the living of our lives, we are all a bunch of amateurs. We tend to miss the main things a large part of the time.

As this list suggests, throughout your life, people will try to get you to live the way they see fit. Many of them are well meaning and truly care about you, while others, of course, are not. Sometimes, too, it is difficult to tell one group from the other. Ultimately, though, you’ve got to live your own life. You’ve got to answer that call you feel deep down inside and do what you were uniquely built to do.

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It has been said that one route to unhappiness is trying to please everyone. Instead, we should try to please God first, and we will then find that only in doing so can we be  pleased with ourselves.

Further, we only regret hard work when it is meaningless. This is why it is so important to align our lives with what we truly feel passionate about contributing. When we work in line with our passions and in pursuit of the highest calling we detect on our lives, we lose the feeling that it is wasted and begin to feel as if it’s a privilege. We come to realize that everything we have been given—our resources, our health, our abilities, our time— is part of the raw material we are to use to fashion our legacy. It is then that we realize that our privileges are not for our pleasure but for our purpose.

Know this: Without exception, our purpose will involve others. Our passions, our desires, our ambitions, and ultimately our legacy, will revolve around how well we did serving others with the days and the resources of our lives. This is why it is futile to become task-oriented at the expense of our relationships. Most of our greatest fulfillment’s in life will come through relationships. They should be given our highest priority. Being a good spouse, parent, grandparent, brother or sister, uncle or aunt, friend, or mentor should be part of any and every focus in our life.

No plan to leave a legacy should slight people or take advantage of them in any way. Quite the opposite: Our life’s direction, contribution, and legacy should be with, for, and about people. Forget this one simple truth, and be prepared to suffer the deepest regrets imaginable. Remember it, and you can rest assured that your life will not have been wasted, that not all of your potential was lost in spillage, and that, yes, you did accomplish something because no matter where else you failed, you at least managed to matter to someone.

And that’s as important as it gets.

(Posted by Kristen Seidl, on behalf of Chris Brady)